Harassment.
Frequently showing up where you are (especially uninvited),
following you, making prank phone calls, threatening
you on the phone, spreading rumors about you, giving
messages to you through your friends and/or family after
you have made it clear you do not want to have contact
with him/her.
Intimidation.
Putting you in fear by: subjecting you to reckless driving;
kicking, smashing or throwing your personal items or
other property; shouting; using looks/gestures; threatening
to get you in trouble with your friends/family.
Violation of Personal Boundaries.
Reading your mail; going through your purse or locker
without permission; taking your personal items without
asking, forcing unwanted touch or sex; refusing to stop
wrestling after you ask him/her to stop.
Threats.
Threatening to harm you and/or your family, friends;
threatening to commit suicide; threatening to share
private information; and/or threatening to break up
with you if you don't do what he/she wants.
Using Male Privilege.
He may act like he is the boss and what he says, goes;
he reminds you that you are a girl and that's why you
are supposed to do what he says; he may feel he has
the right to be consulted about all your actions- where
you go and with whom; in some situations he believes
you should be asking his permission to go or do something.
Limiting Independence.
Telling you what kind of clothes you can and cannot
wear; telling you how you have to wear your hair; he/she
may decide how you should spend your money, where you
go on dates and when you go out; he/she may not allow you
to use your choice of birth control; he/she may pressure
you into using drugs, alcohol or cigarettes.
Degradation and Humiliation.
Calling you names in front of others or privately; putting
down your religion, race, or socioeconomic class; he/she
may show public interest in other girls or boys after agreeing
to see only you; touching/grabbing parts of your body
inappropriately in public or private; putting down or
making fun of your family home, family situation or
family members; showing personal/private items.
Isolation.
Pressuring you to choose between him/her and family/friends;
pressuring you to quit a job or extra-circular activities;
pressuring you not to go to college or to go the college
of his/her choice.
Originally in the format of Teen Power & Control
Wheel provided by the Domestic Violence Advocacy Program
of Family Resources, Inc. (319) 326-9191
SAFETY TIPS FOR TEENS.
1. Use the buddy system: Always be accompanied by one or more friends when you are walking around, especially at night.
2. Watch what you take: Be careful of what you accept from people, particularly food or drink from people you don't know very well.
3. Keep away from strange locations: Don't accompany someone back to their car or trailer if you don't know them.
4. Stay in public: Make sure to stay where there are crowds in case you need help.
5. Trust your instincts:
If the situation doesn't feel right, trust your feelings
and get out.
6. Know the dangers:
Young people are the most highly victimized age group.
Rape is much more common than you may realize. Take
precautions.
ADVICE TO HELP PREVENT
RAPE.
1. Talk it over. Better communication in sexual situations - listening to the other person, stating desires clearly, and asking when a situation is unclear-will make relationships safer and healthier. Create a space to speak honestly about sex.
2. Understand the ability to consent. Drugs and alcohol can affect people's ability to decide whether they want to be sexual with someone. If a person is "really out of it" and can't give consent, wait until you are both ready to enthusically say yes.
3. Ask someone. Ask someone how it would feel to be seen as a potential rapist; and how they would feel if a woman or man in their life was sexually assaulted. Learn more about the ways sexual violence touches the lives of men and women.
4. Be aware of pop culture's messages. We are surrounded by daily TV shows, music, magazines, video games, and movies that communicate messages about masculinity, femininity, and relationships. Don't let messages in popular culture dictate your behavior.
5. Speak out. You will probably never see a rape being committed, but you will hear attitudes and see behaviors that degrade women and promote a culture of violence. If someone tells a joke about rape, say you don't find it funny. Use your voice.
6. Get involved. Join or start a group at your school, college, church, etc. working to prevent violence.
7. Show your strength. Don't ever have sex with someone against their will. Make a pledge to be a person whose strenght is used for respect, not for hurting.
Be a friend, not a bystander. Get involved if you see someone at risk. You might save a friend from becoming a victim of sexual assault or from committing one.
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